I need to do some laundry. really, really badly.

I returned late last night from the out-of-state wedding (destination weddings?? I just don't get) of my oldest friend. Just looking at her radiant self in her wedding dress seemed impossible as she's eight and wearing pony tails in my minds eye. Everything about her makes me grateful that my parents decided to buy that house on that block. She is my childhood and sharing those times with her was a gift. She is an amazing friend who threw the perfect wedding for her. Simple and happy and just right, except for the fact that both the bride and groom and their respective families came down with the stomach flu the week of the wedding. They fell like dominoes in their Montana ranch house - scaring each arriving guest to the welcome dinner the night before the wedding with cautions to avoid physical contact with any of them. Who can't hug an almost-bride? Try not to do it, I dare you.

As I worried about my friend and all the work and energy she put into this day, I selfishly made deals with the universe about myself. I just kept thinking "okay, I can get the flu, I'm okay with that, just please - not until I get home. Not in the hotel. Not on the multiple airplane rides it took me and the Buddha to get our behinds to Montana and back. You can see where this is going, right? Well, there is a god and s/he definitely has a sense of humor.

The minute (actually second) I hit the top of our porch landing (I swear to god, I couldn't make this shit up), the baby started throwing up all over me. Two more times as I raced up the stairs to the flat yelling for help. MAS bathed him (screaming) while I peeled off all my clothes (crying), and then sat with him, walked him around and finally passed out in our bed with him at
1am. I'm tired and my stomach hurts. I swear I may never go to a wedding again.

I bet this will sound weird (especially if you live in, like... Iowa).

So this weekend, I dropped just over $300 on hair-related things (I know, enough with the hair already). A cut, some low-lights, some color to even out some previously indulged-in highlights and just regular summer-time sun exposure blondness that had no business being on my head, as well as shampoo & conditioner for this two-girl-head(s)-of-household and some very important post-wash, yet pre-blow dry products. My fucking lord. Are we nuts?? Really, please chime in if you have thoughts on this. $300+?? And, by the way, my hair looks just okay. What gives? When did life get so complicated? And by complicated, I mean expensive. If I truly think about the money that goes out everyday (gas, coffee, groceries, wine, diapers, gifts) versus what MAS and I bring home in our paychecks every two weeks - not even taking into account our mortgage, taxes, insurance - the math just doesn't add up. We both make okay money. Incredibly decent salaries in any other part of the county. Is it just me or does urban life cost more? And please someone tell me, just what are we paying for? The privileged of finding no parking, sharing my doorstep with the neighborhood homeless guy, or private school for a 5 year old that costs more annually than my parents spent to send me to college.

Captain Underpants

Oh Yeah. We are making some serious progress on potty training with the Bean. After my electronic hissy fit last week, I thought it appropriate to talk about the things that are lightening my load and Bean putting it in the potty is right up there. He's into his undies big time and is so there during the day. We're still working on nighttime, but boy howdy! he's doing it for 70% of the day and just in time for preschool where diapers are not allowed. Also, did I mention that the Baby Buddha is walking? Did I mention that he started walking one day before his 15-month pediatrician appointment where I was truly worried she was going tell me she was concerned. Walking? check. Healthy? check. Chill mom. Okay, check. And the cherry on the top of this pile of happiness?? MAS got a new job. This is great for many reasons. Financially it will help begin to dig us out of the San Francisco real estate hole we've been in the past year and professionally it's a great opportunity to leave her current situation which was just a dysfunctional abyss. This move is such a great thing for her. All good. And me? I'm about to hop over to a little piece of internet heaven - hello? free shipping (even on returns)? no tax? you carry my clown sized 11 shoes in styles that don't look like something a drag queen would wear? I'd marry this website if I could - to buy three pairs of shoes. Today's such a good day in a good life.

life. it's really starting to get to me.

But then there's this. These two little heads that smell so good. I'm trying to just focus on the good stuff and there's lots of it, really, but I have this feeling of overwhelming exhaustion and pissed-offness that seems out of place considering that my "baby" is 15 months old. Why is he waking up at 2am every night? WHY? He's started walking so I was thinking all the upright action would tire him to the point of some really good sleep. ha! and just cause it's fun and for some reason really makes me feel better, let me recap some of the crap before I list the good stuff:

Three - count 'em three - flat tires in the last 10 days.
(mas - 2, me - 1 = apx. $350 in "new" tires)

One scratched cornea (mine) due to the above-mentioned 2am wake-up calls and sharp Buddha finger nails resulting in a trip to the doctor's office and two! eye drop prescriptions and three! different Walgreens attempting to fill/pickup effing prescriptions.

At least 6 wasted hours of on-line traffic school just to be told that the particular county (I truly hate the East Bay) I got the ticket in doesn't really believe in the whole on-line traffic school concept so much so could I now print off the final exam and find a notary public to WATCH me take the exam? What the everloving hell?? What exactly was the point of doing all the other stuff online?

So there's a little snapshot of life in my cranky pants lately.

Good stuff next, I promise. It's Friday and neither of my parental units have requested an audience with their grankids (which will make mas happy) and there's my sister-in-laws birthday party tomorrow night which will include booze (making me very happy), so next post, the good stuff.