Mr. Five

I was recently reminded that your birth five years ago had the very unintentional effect of freaking me the hell out. I simply wasn't prepared for the upheaval. And all the love. And the need - how much you needed us and how much we needed you. We made so many mistakes around you. Nothing that I would classify as an actual mistake with you because then you wouldn't be you. And you my friend, are incredible. You pretty much started talking right around your first birthday and haven't stopped since. You remember everything and you are so certain. Yesterday you told me that an orange was a vegetable and when I tried to disagree, this: "Yes, it is, Mama. You're wrong." Okay, then. I just don't care enough about how we classify an orange to trifle with that fierce sense of certainty. I fear that life will do enough of that without my early intervention in this area. You've been obsessed with little toys cars from the minute you could grasp one in your hand. Buses on the street have never been met with a more enthusiastic admirer than you. Oh! those lucky buses to bask in your affection. It's genuine and real and people (and buses) literally delight in it. This Fall you will start kindergarten and you are very ready. Preschool has been mastered. You walk around saying hi to people and checking-in on the progress of little siblings - "oh! he's getting very big!" - like you own the joint. You know which car in the parking lot belongs to which family and it's you who spots and greets the parents we should recognize in the grocery store. You weigh 39 pounds and eat next to nothing. Milk remains its own food group in your world. The irony of going from a tiny infant who was so allergic to the dairy that was slipping through the breast milk that it was causing you to bleed internally is not lost on me as I stop for the third time in a week to pick up yet another gallon of milk for you. Candy holds little to no value for you, but we can make you do almost anything with the promise of french fries. You can name the planets in their proper alignment to the sun and know far more than I about why Pluto is no longer included in this list. There are still times when you ask to climb over the front seat and snuggle a little before we walk into school in the morning, but these requests happen less frequently these days. Most of the time, you are ready and prepared to face your day and when I ask you for a hug and a kiss you still comply readily. As I turn around at the door on my way out I smile and tell you to have fun and every single day you reply "you have fun at work too, Mama." I love that. I really do.

You are the best company a person could ask for. I am so happy to sit back and bask in your five-year-old glow. It's really and truly one of my greatest pleasures.

I just bought these without thinking

Saw them, grabbed them and walked directly to the cash register to pay for them and bring them home with me. I'm not entirely sure what made me fall in love with these plates so instantly. All I know is that I do love them and can't wait for a reason to use them.

Looking back, I think it might have been the honey bear that did it.

Do people know about this???

Are you aware that there's a place of awesomeness where a person can borrow any book their little heart desires. For free? This magical place is quiet and welcomes children and sends you kind emails to tell you that "hey! you've kept our book too long, would you like to keep it for a few more weeks? No, problem. Thanks for letting us know. You can give us the 20 cents we're going to penalize you for pretty much ignoring us whenever it's convenient for you." Damn. How on earth did I manage to forget about the library for so many years? I don't even want to contemplate the money I've wasted over the last few decades buying books. I'm a reader. I read a lot. I think at one point post-college the vague idea of the library as a place to get books rather than to cram for finals must have crossed my mind and I'm pretty sure the germaphobe that lives inside me pushed that idea away just as quickly. But now that I'm a parent (ie: broke and pretty much covered in germs anyway) the library seems downright dreamy. Here's how it works in my world: First, I walked into my neighborhood library and produced my driver's license and was handed a library card. duh. Then I established on online account where, get this - I reserve every and any book that might slightly catch my interest and then! the library elves find said books and TRANSFER them to my neighborhood library which triggers an extremely nice email notification that my books are ready to be picked up. It's seriously Christmas everyday. You should do this. Perhaps you already are. If so, you're about 100 times smarter than me and probably have a really nice savings account where I, on the other hand, have a bunch of books sitting in boxes in my garage.

the dog days of toddlerhood

My baby is almost three. On the nights when he can't fall asleep and the music on the side of his crib has been turned on and off and on and off - the toddler equivalent of counting sheep - and he finally starts crying for me in sleepy frustration, I go into his room to see what the matter might be. His room still smells vaguely of baby. One part baby powder (even though we never used baby powder), one part Pampers (even though we never used Pampers) and one part milk (even though nursing is long over). On these nights I sit in the rocking chair with this little boy clinging to me and try and tell myself to remember this feeling. It won't be long and this room will smell all-boy and this boy won't consider sitting quietly with his mama an option in any way. On these nights I try to somehow physically pour love into his little solid frame and to let that part of him that is still mine seep into me. Just to stow away all that love to last me during the times when I might not be his favorite person. Love that will sustain us both during the silent years. Those years when I won't know exactly what he's feeling and needing every second of the day, usually me. Just to sit with him and be still.

I'm so loving....

I am LOVING this hand soap. It's foamy and antibacterial and smells delish. In case you don't know me in real life I am, in fact, the kind of person who will STALK the three different Target's within driving distance looking for my brand (and preferred scent - orange in this case) of hand soap. We've also taken to stuffing the hand sanitizer in every pocket and bag we own. Alcohol-free, non-toxic people! And such lovely, lovely simple packaging.

water soothes small people

Why do I always forget just how mezmorizing an effect water has on my kids? It doesn't matter if it's the ocean, a pool, rain, the bathtub or simply streaming out of the hose. Water is instant fun and calm and happy. I don't know why this is so surprising. Water has the exact same effect on me.