you're sure of a big surprise.

Today was the annual Teddy Bear Picnic at The Bean's often-malinged preschool. Last year we were still in such a state of transition about whether we could actually take a whole year of this school and all their rules that I truly couldn't bring myself to go. This year I dragged myself and my camera and managed to enjoy myself. The simple fact of the matter is that kids are just better behaved, and therefore exponentially more adorable, when someone other than their parents is in charge. This year I didn't get all caught up on what to bring as our contribution to the picnic treats and what whatever we brought said about us. This year MAS had the brilliant idea of letting Q chose what to bring to feed the teddy bears and - in what I'm hoping is the next phase of parenting for us - he chose more quickly, effortlessly and appropriately then we ever could. This year I hid behind my camera and took pictures of preschoolers marching along a little hiking path and running around a field scattered with blankets with stuffed animals perched atop. This year I decided not to talk with anyone about where they're looking to put their little future-mensa members in kindergarten next year and what homemade halloween costume they're going to whip up in the evenings while I watch tv and order something online for six-times the cost. This year I hung out with my 4 year old who all of the sudden seems so big and so sure.

I have lots to learn from him.

summers end

Even though I work full time and summer is not all that different from any other season here - we still careen about getting out the door most mornings, laundry gets done, kids need new shoes, my desk at work continues to pile high with things that require attention - I still feel sad when it's over. It's almost like somewhere deep in my brain or bones is the memory of what real summer was - floating in a pool for hours :: being barefoot for three months straight :: sleeping late and waking up to an empty house, parents long gone to work :: smelling like coconut oil - and just how much it sucked when it ended and feet needed to be crammed back into shoes and tans faded. We had a nice summer. We spent time in the backyard watering tomatoes and watching over rose bushes. We managed a vacation, got outside and ate lots of popsicles. The Bean learned to really swim and my Baby Buddha has officially turned into a little boy. Almost all traces of baby are long gone. We're lucky that living in San Francisco entitles us to two more months of sunshine. September and October really is summer in this city, but it feels somehow out of whack knowing that friends and family back east are pulling out sweaters and getting ready to crunch through orange leaves. Time to start thinking about Halloween costumes.