Thursday, January 25, 2007

perfect peace

There's this place :: This place right between being awake and being asleep :: Almost every night :: After everyone else is sleeping :: It's quiet. Really quiet (thank fucking god), and I have big decisions to make. Should I take a bath? read? watch something mindless on TV?

My God, the leisure of it. That's the thing – it’s downright leisurely. I don't worry about my list of things to do, all the missed expectations, the loss, the laundry. Most nights it's all of 30 minutes. But it's mine and it’s silent and I need it and look forward to it when things are noisy and out of control. This time: I really do appreciate it and it makes me better able to cope with life.

This life.
My life.


Blogger L. said...

Some nights I`m so tired that I tumble into bed before anyone else, and leave it to my husband to get the kids to sleep. On those nights, I really miss what you describe -- that peaceful time when only I am stirring.

8:26 AM  
Blogger pixie sticks said...

If I was a morning person I suppose I could get the same thing by getting up before everyone else, but uhm - no.

l: Getting a great night of sleep is pretty good too! Thanks for being such a great commentor.

4:29 PM  
Anonymous Grrrlfriend Jess said...

Oh yes. Sometimes, I feel like these moments, these bits and pieces are incredibly spiritual. Or at least they are if you are thinking, "What can I do for me? What would fuel me? What would feel good?" Clearly, none of those questions are ever answered, "The laundry. The dishes. Online billing."

By the way, if you read during these moments, I highly recommend Eat Pray Love by Elizabeth Gilbert. I've been spending my precious half-hour completely absorbed to the tune of the crackly monitor and my husband's snores. Pure delight.

10:18 AM  

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